[ 09 ]

New York, you're perfect
Don't please don't change a thing. .

[ 08 ]

what a drunken mess we all were. but happy, drunken messes.

my wish to play ive never was fuffilled, and as expected it provided mass laughs and suggestive thoughts. "ive never made out with him.." at a table of 6 only one drank. hahaha.


the party was crashed before it even started, but nothing stopped us last night. the old gang + new additons. new shenanigans in their prime.

i never meant it happen like this. and yet;
i continue to fall harder
faster
and completely.

[07]

i'm happy, all the time now. it's scary, no one is this happy. your this happy too. what the fuck happened to us. we used to miserable and not give two fucks...you used to be one of the rotten ones, and i liked you for that.

esentially one week of school left.
this week nearly killing me in the process.

3 things on my mind
blazing, scene 4, how gross i've become, ugh.
2 things i want to be doing
blazing, scene 4.
1 person i want to see
him.

no pub tonight, my liver is under lockdown for friday's trashfest.
i have this weird craving to play i've never.

updates more often.

[ 06 ]

i'm sure i've tasted this before.
what did I expect?
you're no good at lying
and I'm no good at comebacks.
but you're so untouchable.
and I'm so-terrible at this.

[ 05 ]

remember when my lungs weren't filthy? me either. well atleast not as filthy as my mouth.
yesterday was my first time into the mall in about 2 months. christmas has exploded everywhere and i couldn't be more pleased out it. of course, not as pleased as my waitress at kelseys who HEARD HER FIRST CHRISTMAS SONG ON THE RADIO YESTERDAY! loves what we ordered and LOL TOTALLY LOVED MY BAG! (happy people make me want to re evaluate my life.) but still pleased none the less. 1 month 2 days until christmas, a job would be phenomenal right now.

"she's kind of amazing...ugh gay"
"it's okay shes grossed out too"
♥

[ 0 4 ]

"i'm sorry if i destroy you."
"me too."






it's 4am and i can't sleep
memories made in the coldest winter.

[0 3]

Look we both know how i feel about you so i'm just going to shoot straight. You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. You're smart, charming, you laugh at all my stupid jokes and have a horrible habbit of always saving my life. The truth is, you're everything that I thought I ever wanted and more. And the last few days all I could think about was the future. About what it's going to be like once I get the intersect out of my head and we can be together for real, no fake relationship, no covers, no lies. But the more I think about it ,the more I realize that you and I can never have a future together. I fooled myself into thinking that we could but the truth is we can't. Because even if we had a real relationship it'd never really be real. . I'm a normal girl who wants a normal life. And as amazing as you are Jesse Lacey, we both know that you will never be normal.

[02]

last sems my gpa was 3.8, this sems, i think if we divide that in half, it will be more accurate. ugh


this week was so long, its 1:30 on a saturday and it feels like its 7:00 on a sunday.
thursday night shindig was pretty respectable. (and by pretty respectable i mean i had a sick time.) my usual drunken mouth ran, confession that shouldnt have been said, were said. (we can always count on me for that one.) i wanted him so bad. this time it wasnt just the vodka or the bass from the music talking. i probably said a little to much. friday was haggard, relaxed and a little cute while saturday morning was a close call. "should i ask?..im not sleeping anyway.." "you asleep?" "hhmmh?" "nevermind." thankgod.




if your not really here
then the stars dont really matter
i want to be next to you.
black and gold.

[01]

this week has been one hell of a week.
i can finally say retail is out of the way and we killed the presentation.
i've managed to pull my back in the stupidest way so now i am walking around like a gimp. ive found myself getting celebratory drinks with the new classmates i swore that i probably would never become friends with; which made me really realize how much i miss the tuesday night drinking crew, "i've never", " i really like it when", drunken pictionary and everything in between. i feel like this week, more so, this month i've realized who the true friends are. who can really make me smile and who is just waiting around to be easy meat. this weekend i also was a smoking hot wastecase bridesmaid and spent almost all today crashed and burned out in my bed.


in my tired mess this month, in between friends and drinking and spending way to much in the big room, i can say i'm the happiest i've been in a l o n g time.

all the crimes they commit

3 drinks
3 pain pills
2 shots
2 joints
1 random asian drug dealer
1 txt "yes! i still have enough money to buy my gf a card for our 18 month aniversary!"
1 realization, whats with me and guys with girlfriends?
1 drunken phone call
1am drug run
1 chat that was well needed
1 line "you can still surprise me"



my back hurts so much this morning it's unreal.
he said he would have mailed me back
if he had a card.
oh well the thought was there.

new york i love you but you're freaking me out

wish i knew

if prince charming is a dick, bring on the frogs.


so pub night halloween, did the paper bag princess find her prince charming?
well actually she found 3.
but not so much.

prince 1, was tattooed, charming, but already has a princess at home.
prince 2, was discovered the morning after, from a drunken digits exchange, in txt form,
"it was a pleasure to meet you paper bag princess, we should get coffee sometime."
--tacky.
and prince 3 sat at home, only to think of the decheveled paper bag princess at 4:30 in the morning.
but that was enough, the paper bag princess fell asleep with a smile.


actual halloween was spent sober and in atire not made out of a leaf bag.
it must have been a full moon;
he wasn't usually that charming.
it happened alot slower,.
what a pretty little face.