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it's hard being left behind. i wait for him, not always knowing where he is, wondering what is holding his interest this time. it's hard to be the one who stays. i keep myself busy. time goes faster that way. i go to sleep alone, and wake up alone. i take walks. i work until i'm tired. i watch the wind play with the trash that's been under the snow all winter. everything seems simple until you think about it. why is love intensified by absence? now i wait for him. he vanishes unwillingly, without warning. i wait for him. each moment that i wait feels like a year, an eternity. each moment is as slow and transparent as glass. through each moment i can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. why has he gone where i can not follow?