this entry comes about after staring at my blank "create post" screen, thinking of a way to right this entry so it doesnt come across as emo kid looking for answers.
then i realized,
why the fuck do i care.
yes generally my wardorbe is from the "angst" h&m section or so i've heard it describe.
yes my hair colour is currently a mix of brown and "unemployed" with left over brown raccoon tails.
yes i wear hats and bandshirts, have black glasses and soemtimes listen to grindhardscenemetalCORE (haha) music and even quote cliche lyrics from brand new like it's nobody's business
i dont shop at ae, and spend the better portion of my life avoiding those who do.
my sense of humour is all over the fucking map.
whateves,
i'm always going to be a bit off.
a little bit cute and a lot bit quirky.
take it or leave it.
today i found myself akwardly amungst everyone
disconnected and detached., or maybe unattached?
like it was week one all over again
i don't know what it was about today, i just felt so out of place.
i couldn't find the right words.
insecure of the conversations surrounding me, almost anxious for my opening in a conversation to say something witty, something to be noticed.
to say there wasnt a cause of butterflies today would be a lie. maybe again, it was just the oddity of the day, feeling like it was day one, sizing you up, unsure of myself, wanting to tell you everything on my mind but comming up short...feeling silly for even the slightest notion of being nervous around you.
i hated everylast minute of it, but at the same time, could not fully bring my self to hate the situation.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment